Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
