Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
