I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't turn off my feet"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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