absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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