Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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