Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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