Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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