I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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