Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
