Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
