you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
