Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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