Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
