Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
