the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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