wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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