You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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