I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
