i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
