he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
