it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
