JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
