Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
