i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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