So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
