This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
