I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
