Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
