oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
