Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
