You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
