how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
