Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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