No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
