laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found puke in my bra..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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