i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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