Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
