Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Umm I'm too high to move.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
