i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
