haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
