i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
