I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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