oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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