I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
