It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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