My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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