I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
