Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
