We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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