you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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