The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
