all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
