someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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