Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
