I just made out with a guy for $7.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
