Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
