Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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