just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
